Coraline - TV

I feel like a right bastard.  This movie won heaps of awards and is generally considered to be brilliant, but for some reason, I really didn't enjoy it.  So why might that be?
The movie is based on a novel by Neil Gaiman and is a stop motion animated film directed by 'A Nightmare Before Christmas' Henry Selick and it shares a similar feel.  Both movies are quite dark and while aimed at children, I feel the story is more suited to an older audience.  I even tested it on my young daughter who also didn't enjoy the movie.
The story centres around the titular Coraline who moves into a run-down house with her parents who are too busy renovating to pay her much attention so when she discovers the 'Other World' and parallel parents who are very doting, she of course wishes she could stay.  As the poster says, be careful what you wish for.  You see the Other Mother is really a very nasty witch who wants Coraline's eyes and I assume she kills the child to get them as Coraline discovers the ghosts of three other victims!  Great kids story!  When she refuses, she then has to rescue her real parents from the witch. There are a few other characters around the house who also have parallel versions of themselves in the alternate reality.
The voice actors include:

• Dakota Fanning as Coraline;
• Teri Hatcher as the Mums;
• Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French as Miss Spink and Miss Forcible;
• Ian McShane as Mr Bobinsky; and
• Keith David as the Cat.

 This movie took a huge amount of effort and time to create and you can see the work up on the screen. 
I recorded this when it was played on TV and I am not sure if that contributed to how I feel about the film but I just didn't enjoy the story or the way the characters looked.  They were just 'freaky' for want of a better word. 
I know that there are tens of thousands of people who do love this movie and I don't wish to insult you or upset you. For myself, I give it 5/10.

AVP2 Requiem - DVD

I remember seeing the first Alien movie on VHS and being scared out of my wits.  I then recall seeing Aliens at the cinemas and being even more scared by the nasty Xenomorphs.  Then along came a little movie that I also saw on VHS starring Arnold Schwarzenegger about a different alien, Predator, directed by John McTiernan who would go on to direct one of my all time favourite films, Die Hard.  Just as gory as Alien, it also produced a sequel, this time with no Arnie, but there was this blink and you miss it shot of an Alien head as a trophy in the Predator's ship at the end of the second film.  Say what?  They are in the same fictional universe?!  How cool is that?!  Soon after I tracked down some comic books of Aliens Vs Predators.
Imagine my surprise when they finally released an AVP film, which was panned by the critics, but I actually didn't mind it.  This then brings us to yet another sequel, this time AVP2.
I really like it when a story at least tries to follow on from the previous story and this movie starts with the end of the first AVP movie with the triumphant Predators leaving Earth after the events of he first film.  However, at the end of the first movie, an Alien burst from the chest of a fallen Predator.  The outcome of this was that all the Predators were killed and the ship crashes back to Earth releasing the newly birthed Aliens which quickly go on a rampage.  Even a little kid is shockingly easy prey.
A Predator responds to an emergency beacon and leaves their home planet to find out what happened to his fellow Predators.  He quickly goes about dispatching the Aliens and dissolving all trace.  However, the battle soon explodes into a populated town where the body count quickly escalates.  How will our human heroes survive?  And will the army come to save them?
The movie was directed by The Brothers Strause who are special effects wizards and went on to direct another Sci-Fi film, Skyline.  AVP2: Requiem has no big stars in it which does it no favours but the brothers did not have a huge budget to work with and had to put as much into the special effects as they could.  This unfortunately clearly shows in the sub-par acting.  The actors are from television, including Steven Pasquale from Rescue Me and Reiko Aylesworth from 24.  John Ortiz looks like his stint on the movie hasn't hurt him as he has gone on to star in some bigger films like American Gangster and Public Enemies.
The 'Definitive Edition' 2 Disc DVD has got some pretty good making off documentaries and featurettes and a couple of commentaries which I have yet to listen to.
Like the first AVP film, Requiem was panned by almost everyone who has seen it and I am sure by plenty who haven't.  I actually didn't mind it.  It was better than I was expecting and another decent addition to the cinematic saga of the Aliens and the Predators.  While I concede it would have been heaps better, it is certainly not as bad as what people were making it out to be.  I give it 6/10.

Timeline - TV

Once again, I am baffled why so many people panned this movie.  Timeline is based on a novel by the late Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park) and is directed by the wonderful Richard Donner (Superman & Lethal Weapon).  There is a whole host of known actors including: Paul Walker, Frances O'Connor, Gerard Butler, Billy Connolly, David Thewlis, Michael Sheen and Marton Csokas.
The story is actually quite clever with a mix of archaeology, time travel and dark ages France with Knights and Swords!
Billy Connolly, the archaeology professor ends up being trapped in medieval France and his students (who discover his notes) find out about the time machine and go back to rescue him.  But the company who built the machine has something else in mind and when things go wrong (as they must) and a company bad guy returns to the present with a grenade which detonates and destroys the machine, how are our heroes meant to return to the present themselves?  There is a great link at the end which ties up the storyline quite nicely I thought.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't the most brilliant movie but I don't know why it didn't do very well at the box office (perhaps Paul Walker is the reason?).  This is actually a clever time travel film and if you haven't seen it because of the bad reviews, it is time to revisit it. 7/10

Dragonball Evolution - TV

There are movies I will ensure I see at the cinema, then there are those that while I missed them at the cinemas, I am willing to buy them on Blu-Ray of DVD without seeing them first.  Then there are those that I will record on TV and watch to see if I want to add them to my movie collection.  Dragon Evolution falls into the last category.
I have never seen the original cartoon or Japanese Manga that this story is based on and so I do come to this film with an unbiased eye.
The story is really "out there".  An evil alien (?) was under lock and key but escapes and is looking to collect seven 'Dragonballs' that have been spread across the globe.  Apparently when brought together he can summon someone or something to bring destruction ot the world (never really understood the take over and destroy the world 'thing', but hey, it's just a story).  As luck would have it, our hero, Goku, has been given one of the Dragonballs to protect AND he is a martial arts master.(of course)  The evil alien, Piccolo (a small wind instrument?) kills Goku's grandfather and destroys their house.  Before the grandfather dies, he tells Goku to seek out the martial arts master, Roshi.  Effectively they get together with some other people, gain some more balls (careful!) and then lose all their balls (Hee Hee) and then they all come together to fight it out.  There is a clever little twist in the story which elevated it in my eyes and not everyone survives (or do they?)
Goku is played by War Of the World's, Justin Chatwin, who has a funny little nod to the cartoon when trying to style his hair; Piccolo is Spike from Buffy, or James Marsters if you prefer and Master Roshi is played by the wonderful Cow Yun-Fat.  Everyone plays it not too seriously and they look like they are having quite a bit of fun.
The very ending (after the credits - love post credit scenes) leaves this story open for a sequel but due to very poor box office, there will not be a sequel made.
As I said, I came to this film without much knowledge of the original story and so I actually don't mind it.  It's directed by X-Files alumni, James Wong, who I think is an imaginative storyteller.  While this movie is not highly recommended, it was not the train wreck that everyone thought it was.  I am going to be generous and give it 6/10.

Secrets Of The Furious Five - DVD

After giving the Kung Fu Panda movie a 9/10, I was very happy to find a 'sequel' or continuation of the story in the DVD release of "Secrets Of The Furious Five".
However, not everything is as you may think.
Firstly, this is a 'short'.  It only goes for 24 minutes and to ask for the price they were asking for the DVD is tantamount to robbery.  Of course they know that parents everywhere are going to buy this new story if their kids were excited about the first movie.  They also try and pad it out with some more crappy bonus features too.
The story has Master Shifu putting Po into an impossible situation of teaching Kung Fu to a group of young ones (rabbits!?).  To get them to listen and learn, Po tells them a story about each of the Furious Five.  The idea is to teach them that Kung Fu is not just all about fighting, but using your head too.
The best part of this is that Jack Black AND Dustin Hoffman return to provide the voices of Po and Master Shifu respectively.  Thsi makes up for a thin package.
Also, when Po is teaching the young ones, it is in the CGI of the movie, but when the stories are being told, it is in traditional 2D animation.  Considering how short this was, I am sure they could have animated this fully in CGI.
So is it worth it?  For completists, it's a definite.  For others, if you can pick it up for about $8, go fo it, but it is not really worth any more than that.  While the themes are good for kids to learn, I have to take off points for it's scant length.  5/10

Kung Fu Panda - DVD

Can an over-weight adopted clumsy Panda become the finest Kung Fu Master ever?  Hell Yes!
I originally took my youngest daughter to see this movie at the cinemas which is really just an excuse for me to see an animated film.  I am a huge fan of animated movies but Pixar usually controls the best of position in the computer generated animated feature film category.  The problem is, Pixar movies are exceptional but can sometimes forget they are mainly for kids and so are a bit heavy with the storylines.  Dreamworks remembers to simply have fun and getting comedian Jack Black to play the titular Po, was a master stroke.  He IS Po, full of awkward determination to achieve his seemingly unachievable goal.
But Jack isn't the only star to voice a character.  Dreamworks has gathered am impressive cast of actors to voice the furious five and other main characters including: the brilliant Dustin Hoffman plays the exasperated Master Shufu who must mold Po's clay into iron; the wonderful Angelie Jolie as the usurped Tigress, contender for the top position until Po falls from the sky; also Jackie Chan is Monkey, Seth Rogen is Mantis and Lucy Lui is Viper.  The bad guy, Tai Lung, is the nasty Ian McShane (no swearing in this movie thanks!) and his jailer is the late Michael Clarke Duncan with a voice as deep as the jail that Tai Lung is imprisoned within.
A wonderful story married with some of the most beautiful animation for a kids film ever produced.
I recently re-watched this movie on DVD and it hasn't lost any of it's brilliance.  However, the Bonus Features were a little hard to sit through with a class on the Kung Fu moves of our heroes to learn (!?) as well as a crappy dance to learn as well.  One of the best features was on the incredibly varied languages that the film had to be dubbed into for it's international releases but that there is no word that translates for 'Skadoosh' - very funny.
Dare I say it?  Thsi movie is AWESOME!  I highly recommend - 9/10.